matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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