But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize