If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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