i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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