Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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