My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize