and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
