dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
