we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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