I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
