Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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