i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
