Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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