dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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