I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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