My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
