I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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