she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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