If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
