I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
