i don't like sucking hair
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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