you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
