Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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