What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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