ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
