So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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