real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have aggressive nipples.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
