Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
