with your own penis?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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