You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
