i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
did i walk over a car last night?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
