your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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