CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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