I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
