absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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