sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize