it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
