I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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