Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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