I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
