Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
there is puke in my bra ... again
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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