Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
