I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
