Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
