She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
