he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
