I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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