she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
