Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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