We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
