I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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