He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
