If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
