Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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