Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
