You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
