he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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