Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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